I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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