I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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