i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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