sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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