Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
