no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
