I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
