Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
