I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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