sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
