tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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