You work out of a Hotel?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
