I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize