Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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