I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
