I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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