There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it's great music for shaving your balls
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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