Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
