also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
