My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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