We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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