Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
