All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I didn't notice because vodka
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
