end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize