Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
