dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
