it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
