Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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