No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
