I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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