ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize