how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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