I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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