The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We just shotgunned beers for America
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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