"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pants are for mortals
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
