cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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