I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
smell my finger.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
