I just cut my nipple shaving
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
