Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
