I wanna bring you to show and tell
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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