You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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