I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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