I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
