Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
