and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
