wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize