I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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