ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
