Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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