I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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