so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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