Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
