i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
