I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
