Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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