problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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