omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Enjoy the penises
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
