She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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