My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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