Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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