we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
