What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We named our party play list daddy issues
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
