We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
