So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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