Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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