That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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