I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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